i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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