I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
