he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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