when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
either way he was missing a nipple.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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