It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
