nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it was like eating out sand paper
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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