We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
if only i could text you this smell
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize