we have officially lost it.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
