Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
