hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize