you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
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