That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
