Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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