i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize