Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
