I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
