I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
