Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
