It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
