just come out here and I will go home with you...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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