just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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