So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
