So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
