just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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