Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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