dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize