I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
