tell your sister to shave her snatch
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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