sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
