Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
