Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
