I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize