we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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