Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Everything about him screamed your future.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
