who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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