i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
