why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I would ride that face into the sunset
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
