I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The best revenge is premature balding
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
