Girls should come with a carfax report
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
