Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
