Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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