I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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