We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
