Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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