I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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