Moan for me like Helen Keller
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize