I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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