Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
