so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
