Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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