i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
