Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
