I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
