i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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