Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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