Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she told me i tasted like america
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
