I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I need moral support for this bender
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
