Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
