Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
