Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
