you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize