so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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