her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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