My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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