Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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