So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
