remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
