I just made out with a guy for $7.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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