Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
