you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
