just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
