Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize