office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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