yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
