One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
