I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize