She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
