So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
