idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
