At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
