i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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