IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
