Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
