It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
