Plan B is the new Plan A
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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