the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
