So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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