Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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