i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
