fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
